WoW Roleplaying Gone Horribly Wrong
Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2004 4:32 amI have been on WoW retail for little over 24 hours and already I think I have made enemies. There's a guild called the "Cult of Gashman," and they're recruiting. By preaching.
Since I'm playing my priest, I figure I'll engage them for fun. It's what the D&D character he was based on would do, so, hey, why not? I figure we'll banter a bit for the onlookers, then I'll PM them with a "hey, that was fun, thanks" message, and walk on. Not so much.
I didn't get all of the discussion, since the chat window holds only so many lines and the only way I knew to get a copy was scroll through and take screenshots. I've lost the very first of it, which starts out with some ranting about Gashman's tentacled wrath, then a personal address to me (which they did to several people who just never bit), and something about Gashman's love and glory. And tentacled wrath. Always with the tentacled wrath.
I've stopped trying to RP at this point, because this is just ludicrous. However, I'm too stupid to just walk away.
I'm slightly worried at this point, for numerous reasons.
OK, at this point, he's started mentioning real-world religion outright, which I would think toes the line of what's acceptable under the TOS. Not offensive, but I don't want to touch that with a ten-foot pole. These are scary people and I don't want to play their game anymore, so, there's only one thing left to do.
At which point I run away. Which doesn't stop them. Obviously.
... so, I'm not going to get rid of these guys anytime soon. However, I'm well up the road north of Goldshire at this point, and there are Bad Things in the woods. So, since they're following me as best they can, I run them through the woods, and they pull some monsters after them.
I, of course, manage to escape without any monsters noticing me, so while they're fighting off wolves and cutpurses, I log out.
Since I'm playing my priest, I figure I'll engage them for fun. It's what the D&D character he was based on would do, so, hey, why not? I figure we'll banter a bit for the onlookers, then I'll PM them with a "hey, that was fun, thanks" message, and walk on. Not so much.
I didn't get all of the discussion, since the chat window holds only so many lines and the only way I knew to get a copy was scroll through and take screenshots. I've lost the very first of it, which starts out with some ranting about Gashman's tentacled wrath, then a personal address to me (which they did to several people who just never bit), and something about Gashman's love and glory. And tentacled wrath. Always with the tentacled wrath.
Zeshin: His love!
Jaur: The glory that is his cult! And followers!
Aldric: Look at you! You cannot even agree on what it is you preach!
Zeshin: That's wrong.
Jaur: We preach the same thing, boy. Love and Glory may be intertwined.
Zeshin: We agree with each other so well, that we can preach separate partes of Gashman. He is that amazing. And that is why you must join us! His love and his Glory will protect you from his smiting tentacle of wrath!
Jaur: When Gashman arrives and slaughters the Dolphin Worshippers.
Jaur: I know I shall!
Zeshin: The cult will be. And you will be apart of it. What's life without fulfillment?
Aldric: ... but, I am not a dolphin worshipper, so I shall merely observe, I suppose.
Zenshin: No. You are with us, or against Gashman.
Jaur: Ah, you see. You are a dolphin worshipper and do not know it.
Aldric: I have no particular feelings one way or the other towards dolphins.
Jaur: The dolphins are everywhere, boy.
Aldric: Really?
Jaur: Gashman smites the dolphin kings and queens, for they are false idols. Yes, they are everywhere.
Aldric: Show me the dolphins.
Jaur: They are in the skies.
Zeshin: You see that vendor under the tent over there?
Jaur: Watch them. They are in our towns, in our skies.
Zeshin: That's a dolphin peddler.
Jaur: They are in your very heart!
Zeshin: He sells false ideals to you.
Aldric: You make claims you cannot defend. Where is your appeal to reason?
Jaur: Do you see the dolphins and their worshippers?
Aldric: To experience? To tradition?
Zeshin: What do you mean, "Cannot defend"? Go, check his wares for a thin mucus.
Aldric: Show me the dolphins!
Jaur: I will defend the might of Gashman until my limbs are ripping out of my body.
Zeshin (whisper): You run from Destiny.
Jaur: This man is a dolphin worshipper!
Zeshin (whisper): You'll know sooner or later.
I've stopped trying to RP at this point, because this is just ludicrous. However, I'm too stupid to just walk away.
Jaur: When the time comes, Gasman shall slayeth him.
Aldric: ... actually, that would be "shall slay".
Jaur: Gashman need not care for the eths and thous, for they are thrown around loosely.
Aldric: Especially by his worshippers, apparently.
Jaur: You must see Gashman's glory.
Aldric: Do you have an updated version of the writings of Gashman in contemporary dialect?
Jaur: I do have writings of Gashman. Five Expeditions of greatness I have recorded.
Jaur: Yes.
Aldric: So, exactly what is Gashman supposed to do?
Zeshin: He is a flaming Octopus?
Aldric: Rise from his house at Ry'leh when the stars are right or something like that?
Zeshin: C'thulhu is a myth.
Jaur: Gashman slays false idols and brings peace to those who serve his will. C'thulu was slayed by Gashman ages ago. I have not recordings of it as I do Thor, Odin, Allah, and others, but when Gashman recites the stories to me I shall write them down. And I shall mail them to you to explain.
I'm slightly worried at this point, for numerous reasons.
Aldric: Please take me off your mailing list, thank you.
Zeshin: No.
Jaur: Gashman has no list, Gashman messages those who question his greatness.
Zeshin: You are indebted to Gashman.
Aldric: What sort of debt is this?
Zeshin: The debt of everyone instantaneously owes to any ardent gastropod.
Aldric: ... but a gastropod is a temporal, physical, mutable creation, unlike the Light.
Jaur: Gashman is no normal Gastropod. Gashman has defeated Jesus, "God", Allah, Buddha(ha haaa) and other false idols.
OK, at this point, he's started mentioning real-world religion outright, which I would think toes the line of what's acceptable under the TOS. Not offensive, but I don't want to touch that with a ten-foot pole. These are scary people and I don't want to play their game anymore, so, there's only one thing left to do.
Aldric: ... um, yeah.
Aldric: Hey! Look over there!
At which point I run away. Which doesn't stop them. Obviously.
Jaur: Gashman pities your cowardice.
Aldric: ... yeah, the whole RP thing was fun until the real world stuff started.
Jaur: The real world? Gashman is not the real world? Are you out of your mind? Are you on drugs, fool?
Zeshin: I smell the white horse on him.
Jaur: Gashman is everything, real world and fake world. Bow and tremble before his might.
... so, I'm not going to get rid of these guys anytime soon. However, I'm well up the road north of Goldshire at this point, and there are Bad Things in the woods. So, since they're following me as best they can, I run them through the woods, and they pull some monsters after them.
I, of course, manage to escape without any monsters noticing me, so while they're fighting off wolves and cutpurses, I log out.